Rejection bites.

Yup.

I've got my first answer. The waiting game is over for my very first interview. And it's a big, fat N-O.

"Sorry, we've decided to proceed with another candidate."

Well ... I tried. And you know, I was prepared to hear some no's. But it still hurts a little. It's that whole "they didn't want me" thing. There's a lot of people fighting out there for a small number of positions. Someone just happened to be more qualified than I was. Or cooler. More charismatic perhaps. Did better on the spelling/grammer test? Who knows. There's no point in dwelling.

I do have a question though:

Can I be selective in my job search?

Take example A -- I went to a local chamber meeting last Thursday. I was introduced to this very nice gentleman who took a keen interest in connecting me with his business, a financial advising firm. Apparently the company recruits and trains their own financial advisors; no experience necessary. Sounds dicey? Maybe. However, this company is nationally respected. You've most likely heard of them.

His administrator contacted me almost immediately after he got to his office and gave her my business card. She passed along informational materials (1-day shipping for a DVD) and arranged for him to call me this A.M. I spoke to him briefly and he told me straight up that he thought I'd be a great candidate for three reasons:

ONE - I'm female. They're looking for more woman in the field apparently.
TWO - I speak Spanish. Always an asset.
THREE - I founded my own volunteer program when I was in high school. Which demonstrates initiative and an entrepreneurial spirit.

I was frank and told him that I was curious but that I'd had several interviews in Seattle and was exploring my options. Deep down, I know I don't necessarily want to be a financial advisor. However, receiving my first "no" today activates this panic button inside that tells me I'm running out of options. Not true. But you know me.

The man said he'd submit a referral for me, which entails me going out to lunch with him and some other official to further discuss possibilities. I would like to learn more, yes, but honestly -- I want to work at a global PR agency.

That's where my dream lies today.

I want a career in public relations. It combines everything I love to do -- speaking, reading, writing, research, putting together something creative but smart out of scattered details and facts -- and I crave that. I've been home for a month today. And while it's great to be at home, I itch to use this other side of me. The itch just gets stronger everyday.

So anyways -- back to the question.

Should I turn down this financial advisor opportunity because I'm chasing this global public relations dream? Can I do that when I have no income coming in and desperately need a job? The financial advisor thing is a committment -- the company invests around $60,000 in each employee they train. So if I was to say "yes" ... it would be for good. Or at least the next ten or so years.

Can I be selective in what I pursue?

I, after all, know myself better than anyone. I can see myself being happy doing public relations at a global level. I feel like I'd be putting to use what I was trained in and have been following as a passion since, well, I was ten. I won a writing competition and received a several day sailing trip on an ancient schooner at ten years old. I knew I wanted to involve words in whatever I did as a career since sixth grade. I can't give up on that now that I'm here.

But a job is a job. Or is it?

(PHOTO credits: image one - http://www.mario-kart.net/gamespy/images/8828rejection.jpg. Image two - http://ladyfi.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/midnight_dreams.jpg.)

Little things, lots of time

I'm not the type of person to enjoy having lots of free time. That's just not me.

In college, I was "that" person. The one involved in everything -- from tennis club to student societies to sororities to optional class projects to part-time jobs. And if there were leadership roles, I usually volunteered my services. When I graduated, I already knew that I was headed down to South America for my next adventure -- hence, no down time.

And now I'm back. With down time. Loooooots of down time. Until I find a job, this seems to be a full-time occupation.

But here's the deal: I have down time!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loooooooots of down time!!!!!!!!!!

I was a little moody about not having things lined up for the first week or so I was home from Chile. I may have made a few snippy comments here or there.

I was quickly put in my place, however.

Everyone -- and I mean everyone -- was quick to remind just how lucky I was to have a break. Once I enter the working world, there's no looking back. A lot of workers thirty years deep into their careers would give their right arm for a month off.

So I've been taking time to enjoy being free and irresponsible. (By irresponsible, I mean not having a paid job. My 22 years of age belie my non-rebellious ways).

My friends and I decided to go listen to some live music at a local bar last night (Sunday). We were probably 40 years younger on average than the rest of the good 'ol country folk at The Edison. Which drew attention -- typically positive -- except when a 65+ year old volumptious lady with a cane demanded we move out of her line of vision because she couldn't see all those single men she'd been eyeing. We quickly moved to faciliate her prowling.

A little while later, my friend Lani was curious as to how her search was going and asked her so. The lioness whipped out notebook with not one, but three numbers! And had a lunch date for Wednesday. All in a good day's work.

I'm learning to appreciate the little moments like that. If I had a job, I wouldn't be out on a Sunday night. I've gotten to catch up with so many friends I hadn't even been able to catch-up with before I left . I have near daily morning coffee catch-up sessions with my best friends. I go on bike rides and runs around Samish Island's three-mile loop like no one's business. I make jewelry.

I'm going to do this. And be grateful about it. Because I know that when I do get that job, I'll look back on these days and go, "Ohhh the good old days."

Down time isn't so bad after all...
(PHOTO credit: image one - http://sarabarton.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/busy-lady.jpg.)

The joys of waiting

Symptoms of post-interview waiting disorder:

1. Complusive e-mail checking
2. Cell phone seems to have become an extended part of self
3. Time passes reaaaaaally slow
4. Jumping when a phone rings or a "You've got mail" announcement pops up
5. Restlessness to boot

Waiting is the worst.

Worse than the nerves before an interview. Worse than the hours spent researching the company and prepping for the interview. Worse than the "What to wear?" dilemma. Worse than even blowing an interview.

Because that constant, niggling little thought is ALWAYS in the back of your mind... "Will I hear from them today? Tomorrow? Right now? In an hour? This afternoon? On Friday?"

It doesn't stop. Let me tell you.

What to do to combat the wonderfulness that is waiting for THE call or e-mail?

Keep busy. Be proactive. Research other job possibilities (just in case they found someone better than you .. unlikely, of course, but always good to be prepared). Network like no one's business. Do something that you can bring to your next interview -- like making a blog. Hah.

Here's what I'm doing:

1. Making jewelry (new obsession and a good distraction...)
2. Applying for other jobs
3. Attending local chamber of commerce and rotary meetings (Did someone say networking..?)
4. Reading Isabel Allende's Paula
5. Keeping my blog up-to-date
6. Working with a rescue horse organization
7. Helping my parents around the house

And inevitably... wondering when I'll hear ... if at all.

Waiting is the worst.
(PHOTO credit: image one - http://www.patientpowernow.org/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/waiting.gif.)

The joys of interviewing

"Tell us about yourself."

What a heavy question.

Where to begin?

Well... waaaaaaay back in 1987, a stubborn, blond little lady was born in Tucson, AZ to a father just out of medical school and mother who doubled as a special education teacher.

Hah.

There is definitely an art to interviewing. Think about it ... if we treat each interview question as an exponential equation, the response given by the interviewee then guides the interview into unforseen territory. When someone asks (or more like states), "Tell me about yourself.", one can go in many different directions. The gist is the same but depending on where you begin and where you end, the entire direction of the interview goes down a different camino (path).

For example, I had an interview last Thursday at a wonderful public relations agency in downtown Seattle. They began with the loaded question. Amongst the verbal spewage that was my answer, I mentioned that I work with a rescue horse organization as a way of giving back. We then had a several minute conversation about animals because two of the three interviewers had either worked at a veterinary clinic, trained guide dogs or showed Quarter Horses.

And in a way -- that's the beauty of an interview.

There is no guide. No format. There's preparation -- yes. An interview is a two-way conversation and just like in normal turns of conversation, can go down surprising and unexpected paths.

I have my second interview today. This time a phone interview. I'm open and ready for the art of beautiful conversation.

And by the way, Korea is a no-go. Sorry but I was just gone for a year. I'm ready to be home. Meeting someone wonderful might have helped :) Details to come.
(PHOTO credit: image one - http://www.international-job-search.com/interview%20reduced.jpg.)

Part Dos in South Korea?!

'Tis the season!

Jingle Bells.

And all that jazz...

Which means, I haven't gotten done nearly as much as I would have liked.

I've applied to two jobs since I've been home and have been reaching out to my contacts. And perhaps, incidentally, I might have landed another teaching job -- this time in South Korea. I was browsing online job postings on Seattle's craigslist when I happened upon an ad for teaching positions. I sent an e-mail laden with questions and received a response within minutes. Without necessarily intending to, this whole pursuit is being propelled forward at break-neck speed.

And you know what? At this point in my life, I can go abroad again. If I'm gone for a year, I'll be just 23 1/2 when I get back. Man, I'm young. I don't feel that young! I'm fortunate enough to have done my fair share of traveling throughout my short life.

I've been to Africa. The Middle East. South America. Europe. But .. the area I haven't been to is Asia. Well, I might just have my chance.

How would I feel about leaving home so soon after getting back?

Alright.

Home is wonderful. Home will always be here for me. Somehow whenever I'm home, I always feel like there is something out there waiting for me in the world and that I'm not going to find it at home. It might be because I'm sitting idle here until I find a job. (And by idle -- I don't mean on my butt -- but literally that I don't have a job).

So, part dos (two) of Bakan might just be recounting tales and adventures from the far side of the world. Are you game?

I am.

en route

Part dos (two) of Bakan is really an experiment more than anything.

I'm back from Chile, nestled safely into the comforting cocoon of love amongst family and friends. And I'm now in transit...

...to the next big thing.

Your guess is as good as mine.

I've applied to several jobs; some that I'm actually excited about.

My real true passion is facilitating abroad experiences for other people. My time abroad has proffered some of the most fundamental turning points in my life and I would live a happy one allowing other people to take part in something so grand. I've applied to a two relevant jobs and am now eagerly waiting to hear.

But you know one of the worst parts about a job search?

You aren't even told if you aren't worthy of an interview. Instead your application is lost to a shredder's greedy jaws; leaving you to forever wonder if your application was even received.

Que mala onda (How uncool).

So here you have it.

Welcome to my job search.

I don't know if you will read. I don't know if you will care. But for all those of you who shared in my Chilean experience last year, I thank you for reading. And being interested enough to read.

This is part dos (two).

A forward look back

Time trickles by, as if falling drop by drop from the smooth curve of an hourglass’ middle. Before it seems possible, there remains just a hint – time, sand, what you may – that must be stretched out; squeezed to surmount to all that was imagined.

Much like my last month in Santiago.

Looking back ten months to the anticipation, the questions and wonders and the excitement now provide answers.

What would become of this year-long journey?

Happiness, pain, romance, exhilaration, education…

A deep sense of satisfaction and gratitude. Because more than anything, embarking and completing a journey such as this proves that one can start with nothing more than dreams and hopes and end up with a rich, fulfilling life.

True that it will never turn out as expected and maybe even desired. But that’s the fun of it all – the most significant and potentially life-altering part.

My naïve and forever hopeless romantic side wanted and maybe even expected to fall madly, deeply in love with a Latin man. A year living in another country should yield something of the nature, shouldn’t it?

Alas, this didn’t come to be.

But what did come to be was a deep respect and growing knowledge of the person I am and am coming to be.

Boarding a plane alone and shuttling across a continent to embark upon a new life full of unknowns is not something I would have necessarily imagined for myself several years past. There’s a lot of faith that goes into a decision like that.

What if I don’t find friends? What if I can’t communicate with anyone due to language barriers? What if I’m not happy? What happens next … ?

But with a deep breath and a strong-rooted sense of faith in the simplicity of life as it should be, anything is possible.

I now know that I truly can do anything I want to. Anything. I am capable and have the world as I dream it in my hands.

While my dream now is torn in two – as I’m extremely tempted to stay longer in Chile – I know that whatever comes to be is as it should. My bank account dictates my next move (although I do realize that if I truly wanted to stay in Chile, I’d find a way).

What will come next? Hard to say.

One thing I can say for sure – dust will not be settling under my feet.