A forward look back

Time trickles by, as if falling drop by drop from the smooth curve of an hourglass’ middle. Before it seems possible, there remains just a hint – time, sand, what you may – that must be stretched out; squeezed to surmount to all that was imagined.

Much like my last month in Santiago.

Looking back ten months to the anticipation, the questions and wonders and the excitement now provide answers.

What would become of this year-long journey?

Happiness, pain, romance, exhilaration, education…

A deep sense of satisfaction and gratitude. Because more than anything, embarking and completing a journey such as this proves that one can start with nothing more than dreams and hopes and end up with a rich, fulfilling life.

True that it will never turn out as expected and maybe even desired. But that’s the fun of it all – the most significant and potentially life-altering part.

My naïve and forever hopeless romantic side wanted and maybe even expected to fall madly, deeply in love with a Latin man. A year living in another country should yield something of the nature, shouldn’t it?

Alas, this didn’t come to be.

But what did come to be was a deep respect and growing knowledge of the person I am and am coming to be.

Boarding a plane alone and shuttling across a continent to embark upon a new life full of unknowns is not something I would have necessarily imagined for myself several years past. There’s a lot of faith that goes into a decision like that.

What if I don’t find friends? What if I can’t communicate with anyone due to language barriers? What if I’m not happy? What happens next … ?

But with a deep breath and a strong-rooted sense of faith in the simplicity of life as it should be, anything is possible.

I now know that I truly can do anything I want to. Anything. I am capable and have the world as I dream it in my hands.

While my dream now is torn in two – as I’m extremely tempted to stay longer in Chile – I know that whatever comes to be is as it should. My bank account dictates my next move (although I do realize that if I truly wanted to stay in Chile, I’d find a way).

What will come next? Hard to say.

One thing I can say for sure – dust will not be settling under my feet.